The percentages that circulate about why marriages end nearly all trace back to one piece of research, and it is smaller and narrower than the way it usually gets quoted.
Scott, Rhoades, Stanley, Allen, and Markman published it in 2013 in Couple and Family Psychology. Asked to name major contributors to their divorce, participants named lack of commitment most often at 75 percent, followed by infidelity at 59.6 percent, too much conflict and arguing at 57.7 percent, and financial problems at roughly 37 percent.
The sample consisted of 52 divorced people who had participated in PREP premarital education through either a religious organization or a university. One of the study’s own co-authors writes that the data are less representative than other samples in the field. None of that makes the findings useless. It does mean the study is not the national survey it gets described as, and the researcher who ran it says so in print.
Having an idea of top reasons for divorce can help couples understand common sources of conflict and recognize issues that may affect their marriage.
The Finding Almost Everyone Skips
What the study referenced above actually contributed was a distinction, not a ranking. It asked separately about contributing causes and about what factors triggered the action to file for divorce. Infidelity was named as a contributing cause by 59.6 percent of participants but as the final straw by 24 percent, just ahead of domestic violence at 21.2. About 70 percent could identify a specific final straw at all.
That gap is the evidence behind something family lawyers say constantly without a citation. The thing that ends a marriage and the thing that broke it are frequently different events. Lack of commitment ranks highest precisely since it slowly builds up over time and is vague enough to absorb everything else.
State-level treatments of the same question are where the practical stakes surface.
When the Reason Matters Legally and When It Does Not
The reason for divorce made in a no-fault state does not typically affect the decision on whether the marriage is rendered dissoluble or not. There are states that allow courts to take into account fault when dividing marital assets or awarding alimony. Some states keep the fault grounds in conjunction with no-fault grounds.
Texas illustrates why the reason for a divorce can still matter. Couples commonly file for divorce based on “insupportability,” but adultery is also a recognized ground and may affect how a judge divides marital property. According to the website overview of the legal firm of Houston divorce lawyer Yasmin Kutty, Texas does not legally prevent a person undergoing divorce from dating others. Still, it is not advised to date during your divorce since it can be perceived as adultery.
Texas is among the states that kept fault grounds on the books alongside no-fault, so the question of what conduct a court may take into account stays alive there in a way it does not everywhere. That is worth knowing before anyone puts anything in writing. Informal statements and correspondence have a way of turning into exhibits in a fault-sensitive jurisdiction.
High-Conflict Marriages Produce High-Conflict Divorces
Couples who find it hard to agree on issues like child-raising techniques and money will experience challenges when handling these issues during divorce proceedings.
The cost difference is measurable. Nolo’s survey of people who had recently divorced put average attorney fees at $11,300 with a median of $7,000, and cases that went to trial on at least one contested issue ran well above that. The reasons a marriage failed do not appear on the invoice, but the habits behind them do.
Parenting disagreements carry a second consequence. In custody disputes, courts usually apply a best-interests standard. Some state laws allow the court to take into account the parents’ ability to communicate and cooperate when deciding how decision-making authority should be structured.
The Gray Divorce Exception
Research by Brown and Lin found that the divorce rate among adults 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010, with roughly one in four divorces by 2010 involving someone in that age group. It must be understood that the impact of the financial status of older divorcees is more complex. After 30 years of married life, it is most likely that couples would have valuable assets in terms of pensions, retirement accounts, houses, and other properties. There is also an increased likelihood for one spouse to be financially reliant on the other spouse.
It’s safe to say that looking beneath the surface statistics of the 2013 study helps to see things in a different light. These figures come from a study of just 52 respondents, a sample size worth keeping in mind. What the study actually revealed is that the thing that frustrated people throughout their marriage often wasn’t the same thing that finally made them file for divorce.
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